Give yourself grace and know that even well-designed and prepared classrooms, lead by trained Montessori guides, allow for mistakes to be made and adjusted as needed. You can do this as a parent too. For me, I felt perfection was the only plausible outcome of incorporating the perspective in our home. So I was doomed from the start. It took one of our children’s primary teachers lovingly saying to me, “You are your child’s favorite person right now, and that is most important. " I received that sentiment with an open mind and decided to forgive myself that I wasn’t the best at academics, but offered my children other wonderful opportunities in our home that mirrored the Montessori philosophy.
Observation is your connection to your child. Through these observations, we can establish limits, slow down our pace, and set realistic expectations in our home. The Montessori philosophy has established a groundwork for our family beyond academics. It has further strengthened our relationship with our children and joy of parenting – without which our home tempts the fate of drudgery and constant frustration among children and adults. In order to set limits, set realistic expectations, and slow down. It may first help to understand the basic stages of childhood development, on a very simple level. Combining that understanding, with your own observations of your child, can help you better understand the way they see things, talk about things, and consider things, which is very different than most adults. therefore, you can adjust as needed (remember that grace you need to give yourself?).
Give your children time to get dressed, explore a new toy, stare at a bug. My husband and I are embarrassingly notorious for being fast paced and not allowing enough time for our children to complete a task on their timeframe. We are busy, working, have multiple kids and schedules to manage. We easily forget that our children are not as concerned about the final product when they are younger, as an adult might be. In fact, they are most connected to the process. Most often we as adults look at cleaning our home as an unpleasant task to be completed as quickly and as perfectly as possible. A child sees this very differently. They enjoy the process of filling the bucket with water, putting in the sponge, squeezing the sponge, wiping the window etc. etc. etc. They do not experience cleaning as a burden until we model it that way. The Montessori philosophy sees work as a positive experience, one that takes time, thought, problem solving, hand strength, concentration and most significantly an achievable task that builds their confidence. What feels better than meaningful work as adults? Not much! It is the same for the child. Without time, the process cannot be experienced and without the process opportunities are taken away from a child.
Montessori philosophy and perspective both value the whole child joyfully participating in their environment, whether it be at home or in the classroom. Bringing the Montessori perspective into your home requires no additional training or financial obligation – it is continuing to do what you do as a parent; love your child and be an intentional learner with them.
To bring the Montessori perspective into the home is to consider your child as an active participant in the family, to love them equally for whoever they are, and to respect them for whatever their contribution might be.
About the contributor: Claire is the School Director at Center Grove Montessori and has 5 children, 2 of which currently attend the Primary and Elementary classrooms. She has been a Montessori Mom for 7 years and has learned a great deal about parenting and the Montessori philosophy from the community of parents and staff at CGM.
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